The Perpetual Struggle

This was the worst week ever.

This week I tried to change things. Set up meeting after meeting after meeting and it all culminated in the realization that what is going wrong is so much bigger than what I can handle. Getting shut-down here becomes the normal, and it hurts and I just want to scream, "BUT THIS ISN'T RIGHT!"

This week I realized I'm invested in too many things at Marlboro, and not enough in my own Plan work. It's horrible, but I guess sometimes you have to put on your blinders. Pick a few things you care about and work on those. Be a good RA to your dormies. Take care of your own stuff.

Sometimes I wish I had never come here, because everything feels so hard. But then Brian Mooney and I have a tutorial where we spend 80% of the time doing a stylistic analysis of Twilight. Where else could I have gone, really?

Valentine's Day

Recently I ended a long-term relationship, and one might think that would make me bitter about the coming week. Especially since Valentine's Day falls on the 4 week/one month anniversary of that relationship ending. Sick joke calendar, sick joke.

And I suppose when I have been single on Valentine's Day in the past, I was probably a little bitter. I think I started celebrating Liz Lemon's "Anna Bernard Shaw Day" instead.

But not this Valentine's Day! This year I have lots of love pouring out my ears. I want to paint glittery hearts all over Marlboro campus, and hug everyone I love who doesn't have the flu.

Because although in this past year or so everything has gone wrong, lately it feels as though everything is going right. Or at least it's starting to go right. I know that's not a feeling that I can count on lasting, but I'm grateful for it now. And I love everything!

TLDR: I'm excited for Valentine's Day.